"it" just moved
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
