This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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