i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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