that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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