She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize