I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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