I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
