He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
