Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
