i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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