why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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