tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
