My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize