i just google imaged poop.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize