duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
