what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize