How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
