Christians are straight up FREAKS
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
