dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
