i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
