just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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