you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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