Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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