do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Can Purell be used as lube?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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