This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
