what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize