can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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