return my video game
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
