how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
