just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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