dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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