Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
