you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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