well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
