Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
