I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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