btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
