I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
