It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
