Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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