I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
