i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
