a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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