So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The uberlube is also flammable
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
