i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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