ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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