we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
