I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
