you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i out mim tonsoeep
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