Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
