problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
