my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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