Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
