laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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