So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
