Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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