I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
